Nugget's First Cold

It came upon us suddenly. One minute, my baby was smiling, babbling, and intently grasping at objects. The next, he was a leaky, cranky, miserable mess. He's been a decent sleeper until now, but last night was our first challenging one. He was exhausted. I nursed him to sleep repeatedly. Each time he passed out, then woke himself up just a few minutes later by coughing. Then the crying, the labored breathing, and finally nursing again. This went on for hours.

The next day we were both exhausted and miserable. He napped from time to time, but only for brief periods before congestion or coughing would wake him up. I spent all day trying to suck snot out of his nose with the bulb aspirator. We also watched 30 minutes of Sesame Street, because we were just too tired for typical play.

That night he slept better, luckily. He woke up more frequently than usual but the intervals were at least two hours apart. The following morning, he was still coughing, sneezing, and dripping fluids but he was in a better mood, and we were both more rested. Over the next few days his symptoms slowly subsided. But then my husband and I both picked them up - we had no defenses against a baby repeatedly coughing directly into our open mouths.

Worst Mom Ever

So it happened - the thing every parent dreads and tries to avoid - the first fall. I should specify: the first fall that was my fault. I left Nugget on the changing table far too long while we were packing up the car to go on a day trip. Normally he's pretty content there, picking up (clean) cloth diaper covers and other accoutrements. The table is flush against the washing machine, so no way he could roll off... And yet, he fell. His little legs were hanging over the front edge a bit, so somehow he scooted down (scooting? so that's a thing now?) and fell. All I heard was a thud and then immediately a loud, angry cry. I thought I knew all of Nugget's loud, angry cries but this was a new one, a cry beyond any I have heard before.

Rush to the kitchen - find baby on the floor, face down. Panicked, I picked him up gently. His face was red and furious, he was screaming, I was heartsick. No immediate sign of damage. My husband, recognizing that I was in full panic mode, took Nugget from me and started to calm him while I paced pointlessly and absorbed the guilt. Our baby cried and cried, but the cries got quieter and more normal. After a few minutes, he started nuzzling his dad's chest, so I breastfed him, and he quickly returned to normal. I thought about his fall - in order to get in the position on the floor, he must have fallen feet-first and then toppled over on his stomach. He had also managed to pull a sweatsuit down with him, partially breaking his own fall - he had been lying on top of it.

I Googled baby head injury symptoms and started monitoring Nugget's behavior. He was acting completely normal. He had no visible bumps or bruises, he had calmed down quickly, and when we eventually got in the car, he cooed and played with a toy like always. He didn't fall asleep, vomit, or act oddly. But I still felt so terrible.

To Vaccinate...

I'm a "vaxxer" - I believe all children (and adults) should be vaccinated for anything and everything. Yay, science. That said, it is still pretty miserable to take your tiny baby to the pediatrician and let the nurse stick multiple needles in their little thighs... Afterwards, Nugget was so sleepy he actually took a couple naps in his crib so I had to actually do something productive with my time. I had a full 10 minutes to Swiffer the kitchen floor. Now it is slightly less filthy.

Four Months!

Today I am celebrating because our baby was born four months ago and we haven't ruined him yet! Also we haven't taken him back to the baby store! Nugget celebrated by taking a 2.5-hour boob nap. Every time I tried to gently ease away he woke up, so I got to watch several hours of television with headphones while lying on the couch in the dark. So, not much different from most afternoons. Tomorrow we get to celebrate again at the doctor's office when baby gets another round of shots.

Livin' the Dream

I started this blog because as a new stay-at-home mom, I felt like I wasn't being "productive" enough. I need to be doing something! Making money! Being creative! Not spending 10+ hours a day watching Netflix while trapped on the couch underneath an infant. Now that our darling Nugget has matured to the point that he can continue to eat while I type one-handed, I wanted to do something to keep my brain more alert than re-watching all nine seasons of The Office. 

My time at home with the baby is somewhat different than what I had imagined. I pictured feeding Nugget approximately every three hours, followed by playing and singing with him, followed by him taking uninterrupted naps in his crib. During nap time, I would clean the house, cook simple but nutritious meals, read edifying books, and learn the guitar. I was blessed with a sweet, easygoing baby who smiles, plays, and makes dinosaur noises, my domestic bliss is not what I imagined. 

Nugget's persnickety nap habits make my modest intentions difficult, if not impossible. He rarely submits to napping in the crib, and when he does, the naps are short and inadequate. These first four months, most of Nugget's naps have taken place attached to my boob or lying on my lap. I must always be prepared to sit or lie still for hours at a time, so before each feeding I have to pee, get a drink of water, situate an array of pillows, and arrange my laptop within easy reach so that I will be able to sit in one place for upwards of two hours if Nugget decides he is tired. Occasionally, my baby will pass out in his swing, which does not give me much more freedom as I feel obligated to run over and check his breathing every 5-10 minutes.

Another factor restricting my activities is Nugget's near-constant need to feed. Breastfeeding mothers produce milk at wildly different rates, and mine must not be very high because my baby gets hungry every 90 minutes at least. Before he was born, I thought that feeding intervals meant that a baby would eat for a while, then I would get a couple of hours break, then he would get hungry again. I assume that's true for some mothers, but I spend 20-30 minutes feeding, at least 10 minutes holding Nugget upright so he doesn't spit everything right back up, and then we have maybe 45 minutes until he starts clamoring for the boob again. I average four hours a day of active feeding, not including spit-up prevention time. All this to say I spend a lot of time immobilized under a baby.

The end result is that my house is not clean, we eat more frozen pizzas than we should, and I'm really getting my money's worth on streaming services. I don't read as much as I thought I would because the positioning is awkward and I often find myself stuck under a baby without having brought over any reading material.

And yet - parenting is awesome. Our Nugget has the best primate cackle, gummy grins, and prehensile toes in creation, in my completely unbiased opinion. I intend to try and record some of the joys and frustrations of modern motherhood.